LilySlim Weight loss tickers

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Sunday, 18 August 2013

Taking the plunge

Today I went swimming for the first time in years. I realise how tragic that sounds but I got into a mental block about having to wear so little clothing in public. And the longer I left it the worse it got. You see, I'm the kind of person who gets changed into gym gear in the toilet and walks to and from showers with 15 towels wrapped around me. I think it stems from P.E. at school. I loved sports but the teachers seemed to be control freaks and insisted on weird rules like not allowing me to wear Lycra shorts under my games skirt or a t-shirt under the running vest. I don't think I ever got past that 'embarrassed about my body' stage.

So the thought of having to walk out of the changing room into the pool in front of strangers made me shudder. But i did it today and that's a massive challenge ticked off my list. Don't worry I'm not now going to off the rails and start running down the high street with my knockers out!

I would really like to have a swim lesson though so I can learn proper freestyle stroke. My technique involves expending a huge amount of energy for very little forward motion. It must be SO satisfying to glide through the water.

The other plunge I took was to book onto a two week residential bootcamp holiday starting at the end of August. I'm properly nervous about it but also looking forward to having my ass kicked. I might also be able to hit my original target weight of 160lbs and then start setting fitness goals instead of obsessing about the scales. It sounds like there will be more challenges to overcome during the camp too, like abseiling, surfing etc. Oh and not drinking anything but water for 2 weeks? That's gotta be worth at least 5lb weight loss without the diet or exercise!

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Wine = willpower fail

So there I am congratulating myself on losing again last week but I got a shock when I stepped on the scales this morning. 3lbs on since Friday. One hell of a weekend?! I know I always get a spike from the salty food and booze but that really tells how MUCH I let things slip.

Friday night I drank prosecco but ate healthily despite a really strong urge to go to the petrol station and buy crap.

Saturday morning I ummed and ahhhed about going for a run but fannied about for so long there wasn't time before going out to meet a friend for the afternoon drinking session. I stuck to prosecco but then we had a bowl of chips with dips. Then I had a glass of wine whilst waiting for the train. Mind you I did then go to a family BBQ and didn't drink anymore or eat carbs.

Sunday it all went horribly wrong. I started well by walking 9 miles to my friends house. We had prosecco and a platter of meats and cheeses.....and then she brought out a massive Italian flatbread with rosemary and garlic. It was like a freakin' single duvet size and I wanted to dive in and cuddle it!! I ate lots. Then I called in at co-op on my way home and got Pringles. Epic salty carb binge with extra wine.

I felt horrible on Monday. Bloated, a bit hungover and depressed. Really not worth the temporary enjoyment. I got straight back on the healthy eating and walked 14 miles, but I was beating myself up something rotten. Shame I felt like that the first day my ex was back at work from his holiday too. No chance of me doing a Beyonce-style glowing strut through the office. More of a hunched over shuffle. At least I managed to curtail the conversation politely when he came over to tell me all about his holiday instead of shouting "PISS OFF I HAVE A HEADACHE!!".

So I hope to see a return to the 12st 5 sometime this week but there's no getting away from the fact I've pressed pause for a week.

I have avoided social plans for the next two weekends so no temptation. Although being home alone can make me want to eat and drink to fill the empty void. I really can't win either way but will keep on trying.

Saturday, 3 August 2013

Fresh Fat

I'm typing this whilst having a drink at a pub on my own. I know?! How very DARE I? My train was cancelled part way back from an afternoon of cocktails with a friend so it seemed the thing to do rather than spending 40 sober minutes at the station.

I've carried on losing since my last post so now down to 12st 5! That is fresh fat since erm at least 10 years ago. I was 12st 10 when I got married and last time I remember being 11stone something was at university a depressing 18 years ago.

For the first time I can remember there is nothing in my wardrobe that is too small?! All my "shrink into" clothes now fit but some look shit so size really isn't everything and I hereby swear never to buy anything to shrink into again as it is a total waste of money.

I've been sticking with low carb eating, all fresh food cooked from scratch and having one or two protein shakes a day as meal replacements. It's so much easier than preparing food and I swear the green tea, cartinine content gives me an energy boost for walking to work.

I am completely obsessed with avocado, spinach and tomato so my dinners are looking a bit samey but tasty and filling so who cares!!:

I've had a blissful week at work whilst Matt has been on holiday. It makes me realise what life would be like without the opression of seeing my ex every day. I like it. A lot!
....but not enough to lose out on 1.75x my salary so I will have to stick it out until redundancy and in the meantime continue hoping he gets another job.

I know losing weight shouldn't be necessary to feel more confident and in control. But for me it makes a massive difference. It really is the answer to some of my problems. And now I really want to get to my original goal, in 13lbs time, and then see where I'm at. And carry on until my legs look like this

and my arms look like this

I think it's safe to say ill be on that journey for at least 10 years!! :)