I'm scared and excited all at the same time. I know things need to change for me to grow in confidence and ability. But now I could do anything and go anywhere I don't know where to start?! This isn't so much one of life's crossroads but more like a roundabout with 1000s of exits. I'm aimlessly doing donuts around and around whilst my colleagues know exactly where they want to go (and have a car full of family to go on the journey with).
The good thing is I'll have a decent pay out so will have a bit of time to figure it out. I don't believe in this idea that there is one true calling in life. That the magazines would have you believe you need to find otherwise you've failed as a human being. Just like I don't believe there is just one true love of your life. It's statistically impossible.
I think you just have to pick something (or someone!) that seems like a good fit and give it a good go. If it doesn't turn out to be quite right then move on and take what you've learnt into your next attempt.
Guess I'm not a romantic then?!
As you can imagine the atmosphere at work is awful. Its really easy to get dragged down by all the moaning, conspiracy theories and disastracising. But yesterday I decided I'm going to remain positive and keep smiling no matter what. Even if I don't feel like it I'll fake it.
My workload has dropped so I'm getting out for a walk at lunchtime as well as running to and from work.
The temptation to eat and drink myself through this upheaval is strong, but I know exercise and continuing to lose weight will give me the confidence and energy I really need.
This weekend I'm cleaning the house, clearing stuff out. Getting things in order so there are no distractions. The lounge has been turned into a mini gym. Meals and food shopping are planned out.
And on Sunday a house guest arrives until Monday night. Looking forward to lots of cuddles with Archie!