LilySlim Weight loss tickers

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Just 0.2lbs more

I've been at 14st 0.2lbs for the last 2 days.  Soooo close to the 13s!  Unfortunately I already had about 5 inches of hair cut off last week and plucked eyebrows/exfoliated so no way to cheat those few ounces off!  Maybe tomorrow I'll see the magic number?
Can't get too excited however as rather depressingly I already did this back in June last year

I read over some 2011 posts last night.  I don't keep a diary so it was pretty revealing to see what I was thinking and doing.  Some of the stuff I was saying about Matt shows how unhappy I was.  I wanted to shout at myself to say "DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT".  I tried to end it in July, then again in September and finally did it in March.  I knew it wasn't working but I was too scared to be on my own.  I really don't want to make that mistake again.

I've been texting with the hot guy from last weekend and yesterday he asked me the dreaded question "what do you want?".  (Talking about life/relationships and not specifically what I want from him.)  Funny when a near stranger asks you a pertinent question it really highlights how totally clueless you are! I had to reply saying I haven't figured it out yet and that it's easier to say things I don't want at the moment: like kids, marriage, sitting around watching TV and bickering about which colour to paint the lounge etc.
I really don't think I'm ready for dating! 

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Doing things on my "when I'm thin" list

What a weekend of fun! After spending the last three years trapped in the 'Matt Cave' having the life sucked out of me I'm finally getting some confidence back and having fun! I've even did some things I swore I wouldn't do until I was 'x' weight.

I went shopping for some going out clothes on Saturday with my friend. She was complaining about being 9 stone 1 as she is usually 8 stone 2. I told her she really had let herself go and was an embarrassment to be seen with in such a lardy state - NOT! she's a size 10 and has an amazing figure! Just shows all women are a bit mental about weight. I very much wished I could be trying on clothes with her body instead of mine though.

I tried on lots of dresses and tunics which looked lovely on the hangar and in theory were the right shape for my big boob/apple shape. But once on I looked like either Miranda, a washer woman or a man in drag. Boobs ruin everything! But at least all the size 16 stuff fit.

I ended up getting some black slim cut jeans to wear with my knee length boots with heels. The shop must have had magic mirrors though as when I tried the same outfit on at home I felt horrible and had a massive last minute panic trying on loads of random stuff and almost didn't go. I could have put money on that happening.

Managed to make pretty good choices in the Vietnamese restaurant: A grilled chicken skewer to start and beef and chilli stirfry for main with only one spoonful of rice. We then had a private karaoke room booked for the 6 of us girls and proceeded to belt out some truly awful tunes for 2 hours. It was so much fun.

Then we tottered off to a live music club. Amazingly I only had one drink in there as was too busy dancing (now in my flip flops dancing around my boots and handbag, classy!).

Right at the end of the night when we were waiting to get our umbrella back (that had been confiscated by security for erecting it during Rhianna, obviously) I happened to be standing next to an absolutely gorgeous guy. The music was too loud to hear yourself speak so I pointed at him, showed him a thumbs up (subtle!) and then we proceeded to have a conversation using my iphone notepad and he gave me his number! Seriously who does that? Not me usually!

Here's a pic from 3am. Im now contemplating being upside down in all future photos as my double chins disappear around the back of my ears!

After four hours sleep I made enough of a recovery to be back on a train to Manchester by 2pm for another session with Fay. Whilst on the train i texted the number the hot guy gave me just to see if it was real! He texted back and we exchanged a few more during the night.

It was a great night but I was so tired I nearly fell asleep on the train home. I texted Fay to say "home safe, just got long text reply from hot guy". Except I didn't send it to Fay did I?

I sent it to hot guy by mistake.

Amazingly he carried on texting after that but I'm not sure why I'm carrying on. If he asked to meet me I already know I'd crap myself and make up an excuse not to go. Dating is the one thing still very firmly on the list of things to do when I'm thinner.

Speaking of which despite four nights out I lost 2lbs last week. Not the 4lbs I was going for but not bad and maybe I can catch up with my targets in the coming weeks.

Friday, 24 August 2012

Come on scales, MOVE!

The scales are refusing to budge this week despite eight hours of exercise and healthy eating. Must be the gin & tonics then! Just about to set off on another 12km round trip walk/jog to work so if there's no movement on the scales by Monday they'll be taking a short, sharp trip to HammerLand.

Monday, 20 August 2012


In this next phase of weight loss/getting fit I'm trying to keep it more simple. In the past I've gone all out with wall charts, complicated apps, calorie trackers, detailed exercise plans etc etc. And then sat there with a glass of wine and lump of cheese thinking the planning would somehow magically do all the hard work for me. A bit like when I used to spend hours colouring in the most amazing revision timetable for exams and then not actually open any books for weeks.

So this time I have a table showing the number of weeks, key goals and where I should be at each Monday weigh-in. Simples!
So week 1, 2lbs down and on target but a looong way to go. Can I get back into the 13s by next week? Really going for it! Then the next goal is to get back to my lightest weight from last year: 13st 5. Then it's all new territory and ultimately I have to be as light as possible by the ski trip so my poor knees can cope with 7 weeks of powder skiing, hiking and most likely dancing in the evenings! Being a size 12 will have other benefits when being a single lady surrounded by outdoorsy chunky Canadians too.... I hope!!

I just have to get on with:
- Walking/jogging to and from work each day which is 11.5kms in total.
- Bodyweight and kettlebell exercises whilst watching telly in the evening.
- Eating home-cooked fresh food with fewer carbs and smaller portion sizes.
- Vastly reducing alcohol intake

As usual I wish I could fast forward further down that table.

I'm going out on Saturday on a girls night in the city, including a vietnamese restaurant with a private kareoke room?! and going to a club. I have NO going out clothes at all. I seriously am not exaggerating, my wardrobe just has sports/casual clothes and one black dress. So I've asked a stylish friend to take me shopping during the day and force me to try on something other than t-shirts.

I'm also going to have to find some shoes I can walk in. I'm thinking ballerina pumps are about all I could manage but they carry the risk of flying through the air like a martial arts weapon when I inevitably end up high-kicking at the club after a few drinkies. And drinks will be necessary to get me through the trauma of karaoke. I've only done it once before, stone cold sober and the song chosen for me was too low for me to sing so I just stood there making weird whale like noises and eventually sat back down. nightmare!!

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Breakups, house moves, and new starts

That sums up the last few months since I posted. 
Somehow with all the stress of Matt leaving and moving house and Mum having another cancer scare I only put 4lbs on.  No idea how as I've been eating and drinking loads using the stress as an excuse.  I've kept up with exercising so that must have saved me from a total blob-out.

After Matt left in March I faced the reality of living in a remote location and doing a long commute every day on my own.  Mother Nature didn't help by throwing snow in the mix and the wettest April on record in the mix.  A roofless, windscreenless car being my only form of transport at the time.  Fortunatley my own Mother came to the rescue and sold me her little Ka at a bargain price which essentially saved me from dissolving during April. 
However last month I finally admitted defeat and decided to move back 'home' to Cheshire and be closer to work, friends and family.  I felt SO lonely living on the farm in the middle of nowhere and in the house that reminded me of Matt all the time.

So now it's time for a new start, to get out of all the bad habits I've taken up again (drinking most nights, eating crap, wallowing in self-pity!).  I now live 5km from work so for the last fortnight since I moved in I've been running to and from work.  So my commute takes almost as long as before but now I'm spending that time improving my fitness instead of avoiding near-death experiences driving on one of the most dangerous roads in Britain!  I also moved desks so I no longer have to see my ex-boyfriend every day.  Always a good idea don't you think?  I can't avoid him completely as we work in the same department but this should mean bumping into each other once a month instead of every day.  Hopefully I can finally move on and get him out of my head as it has been really tough the last couple of months.

The best news is 5 months from now I fly off to Canada to do a 7 week ski trip.  It's my dream trip and a chance to get away from everything and everyone.  Also get a bit of space to think about what I want to do in life and maybe a career change.  So you can probably guess what my goal is during the next 5 months?....  Yeah, of course I want to lose weight and get fit.  GROUNDHOG DAY!  I'm still 20lbs down on when I originally started so not back at square one.  But at least 30lbs more to lose.

I have a lot of catching up to do on the blogs I loved reading before my meltdown.  I think some have disappeared since then so shows how long it has been.  I'm assuming I'm writing this to myself as not even sure if my blog appears online anymore and can't get Blogger to work on this computer properly.  If anyone is out there - hello!! :) x