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Tuesday, 14 February 2012

A lot going on

I've been trying to write this for ages but it's been sitting in drafts. I just can't be arsed to make it sound less jumbled so here is everything that has been going on.

Had a redundancy scare but escaped for the third time in as many years. Work is as stressful as ever so part of me was almost hoping for them to let me go.

Matt is moving out in a few weeks and I'm going to be single and alone for the first time in 18 years. I'm scared and sad, but relieved that the turmoil is over.

When I'm on my own during the day at work I start to feel stronger about it all and a bit excited about being in control of my life again. But when I get home I feel upset being here together when it's all going to end soon. Neither of us can afford to make it happen any quicker so will have to be patient.

We do the same job in the same office so can't avoid each other unless one of us can get a new job. So for now we'll just try the staying friends thing. I'm kind of embarrassed about everyone at work finding out we've split up.

Need to decide whether to stay in the Peak District or move closer to work and family.
I can't car share anymore and all my rent and bills will double.

But staying for the summer at least seems a good idea so I can avoid the upheaval of a move whilst I get used to living on my own.

Three weeks to go until skiing holiday and the snowboard pants I ordered won't do up. There is no give in the fabric so my usual lunge technique isn't working! I'm getting nervous about meeting the new people and if their first thought as i walk towards them will be "what a porker".

Despite everything going on I've not gone off the rails too much with food and have kept running even if it meant doing it in snow boots. The shorts were a mistake tho.

and finally to end on a happy note here's a pic of next doors' new puppies. Awwwww

Well there's a disturbing glimpse into the contents of my head right now.


Lesley said...

Aaaw Hetty. Sorry it's taken me a while to catch up with you. I'm guessing Matt must be about to move out any time now. I hope you are feeling happier about it now than on Valentines Day.

But, on the upside, you must be getting ready for your snowboarding holiday. Sounds brilliant. Try not to worry about the future....just keep your chin up and keep at it and it WILL work out.

Cheering you on from the Hope Valley!

Lesley xx

Hetty said...

Thanks for the lovely comment Lesley. Sending you an empowered singleton woman high-five from the Derbyshire Dales!! Xxx

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