Well thank god that's over! Last night was a fancy shmancy dinner to reward about 200 people who have worked for the company for 20-40 years. I have worked there for a paltry 10yrs but Matt has done 20 ("Maan and boy, hardest game in the world, jumpers for goalposts").
So I get home from work at 5pm and have a whole 1hr 50mins to get ready before the taxi arrives at 6:50. No worries, loads of time- enjoy yourself and take a leisurely two hours sipping wine and doing girlie getting ready type stuff and be ready at least 15mins early.
I honestly dont know what happened but somehow at 6:30 I still didn't have my dress on (but had managed to get White deodorant marks all over it, four of my nails weren't painted, I had no make-up on and went into a panic.
Anyhow somehow I found myself in the taxi at 6:50 with dress on, high heels on and, strangely, another pair of shoes in my hand?! Caught in a spiral of panicky indecision I just thought I'd take both pairs of shoes. Genius.
So we get to the restaurant 1 hour later (we live 23miles from work, taxi driver was very nervous of country roads. Fortunately I resisted the urge to shout "pull over and let me drive you doddery old fart!").
I hid the extra shoes in my coat sleeves and put coat in the cloakroom. (As you do when you've randomly brought a spare pair of shoes with you.)
The first hour involved standing around mingling. I was amazed how many people I knew and found myself going up to people and starting conversations on my own. Who me?!
Several glasses of bubbly helped with the confidence.
Then we were called to our tables and I realised with horror we were on the same table as the most senior boss. Head of about 700 people. I made a strict mental note to self not to say anything stupid/snort whilst laughing or ask her to pull my finger. Unfortunately I didn't realise that the lady sitting next to me was also a senior leader (in the very department I work in) until I asked "so what do you do"?!
Skip forward two hours and vast quantities of wine and I had said many stupid things, snorted quite a lot and had a deep and meaningful conversation with senior lady 2 who decides to bellow across the table to senior lady 1 "Do you think Heather would make a good Mum?"!!!!
Everyone stops talking and turns to look. Matt goes pale. I felt like I was in a Miranda sketch. Senior lady 1 comes over, fills his wine glass to the brim and says "you'll be needing this if you're making babies tonight". I find myself winking at him and saying "it's all part of your long-service award sweetheart".
Despite the cringeworthy moments I had a lovely night, didn't finish each of the food courses and survived wearing a dress and heels. I think after some Nurofen I should be able to get out for some exercise today too in the torrential rain and gale force winds.