Astonishing things happened at the weekend. Firstly on Friday night I swerved into Waitrose on the way home from work to pick up some shopping (hasten to add I shop at Morrisons aswell, I’m not posh). I immediately found myself at the cheese counter with my face pressed against the glass like a leech. I heard someone asking the counter lady “What is the smallest quantity of cheese I can order?”. Sniggering under my breath thinking “what a loser” I then realized in amazement that it was ME who asked the question! And the good news is there is no minimum order so I promptly bought myself 0.045g of Yorkshire blue cheese. I also bought 100g of stilton and can happily report that HALF OF IT is still in the fridge on Monday. This is unheard of.
Next stop was the wine area where whilst stroking the bottles and whispering “my precious” I came up with a phenomenal piece of spin-doctering/woman-maths. It occurred to me that it would be OK if I had some wine because actually, I think you’ll find, over the last 3 weeks I’d already passed all the challenges I set like going out to dinner, special occasions, a night at mum & dads house without booze. I seemed to be doing quite well with not banning any foods and eating things in moderation, so why not allow wine as long as I stayed within my calorie limit. Conveniently glossing over the fact that I said I wouldn’t drink for the whole month I selected a bottle of prosecco and headed home. Having cooked a healthy tea I settled down in front of the telly and completely forgot about the wine in the fridge until 9pm and by then didn’t really fancy it. On Saturday night I had half of it and the rest on Sunday. So just to clarify that’s one bottle over an entire weekend. For someone who dreams of having a magic fridge that automatically refills with wine like Eddie’s on Ab Fab this is a remarkable achievement.
<<rant mode ON, so bear with>>
On Sunday I managed to convince Him (Permanently) Indoors to come out for a hike. It didn’t take long for me to realize that it would have been a lot more fun on my own. For some reason he is physically incapable of walking alongside me and instead walks 2 metres ahead even though we are actually walking at the same pace. At first I thought it might just be that I was doing up all the latches on the gates after going through them whilst he charged ahead. So I experimented by speeding up to catch him only to find that he speeded up until he was 2metres ahead again. It was infuriating (but excellent interval training)! I was practically doing an Olympic speed walk whilst having a massive Tourrettes rant in my head “WHY WON’T YOU WALK WITH ME YOU TOSSER?!!” Of course I wasn’t going to say anything out loud as then it would sound like he was faster than me which would be completely unacceptable given he has done bugger-all exercise and I’ve been working hard. I had planned to be really encouraging and try not to highlight his lack of fitness but I’m afraid all thoughts of kindness went out the window and as soon as we got to an uphill bit I blew him into the weeds, waited at the top and then asked him a load of questions in my very not out-of-breath voice whilst he gasped for air. I must sound like an ultra-competitive cow there but honestly I’ve had to put up with him eating gorgeous mounds of lardy food in my face for the past weeks and lecturing me about the science of weight-loss so my tolerance levels are quite low.
<<rant mode OFF, thanks for listening>>
Looking at the bright side I pushed myself harder because of the frustration so it's all good. We only did 2 hours but my achilles were pretty sore at the end. Not sure if it's my boots so might have to invest in a new pair (any excuse). Somehow I've got to get fit enough to hike 26miles in July on the White Peak Walk so I'll have to plan some interim target routes to gradually increase the distance.